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Friday, September 27, 2013

Fibro days: Slogging

I don't have the energy for a High Five for Friday. I can't even remember what I did this week, and the only pictures I've taken were of my hair, which I've finally managed to put up with hair sticks. It doesn't even look that good, but hey, I did it! Which leads to today's topic: Slogging.


You and me both, Kate.


I think my least favorite kind of fibro day is the one where you feel like you're pushing through jello to move. Sure, sure, the pain is bad and the cognitive difficulties are bad too, but this...this slogging really gets my goat. Today, as with yesterday, my issue is energy. Ever since coming down with a cold two weeks ago, I've had no energy. I feel, today, for the first time like I have no traces of cold virus left. But my body, I guess, still has to recover from all the effort of trying to make my immune system function. And it sucks.

Slogging, to me,  is when you have brain power, and you can think about all the things you want to do, but you cannot do them. Perhaps, if I was not being mindful of my body, I would go ahead and do these things, thinking that because I am not in a lot of pain, I am having a good day. Tomorrow, or the next day, I'd find myself in the midst of a massive flare-up, where low energy would be the least of my problems. I am, instead, being mindful. And it sucks.


When I'm feeling okay, I break things down into activities that are low-energy, medium-energy or high-energy. I try to time myself to only ten minutes at a time of high-energy activities (like cleaning the kitchen,  sewing, or taking a walk). Medium energy activities (drawing, writing letters/postcards, menu planning) get 20 minutes or so. Low energy activities (reading, knitting, watching tv) get 30-45 minutes. It's important to break even those up, so that I can adjust my posture, stretch a little, etc...

Most of these things are things that I enjoy. I look forward to them. And on days like today, every single one of them feels like a chore. Low-energy activities become medium-energy activities, and medium-energy activities become high-energy activities, and I can't even fathom the high-energy ones. Slogging days like today can break a person, make a person feel like absolutely nothing is possible. One right after the other can make you feel like you're stuck in this forever.


I did, technically, have my own photos for this post, but
photobucked flipped a biscuit this afternoon. Sorry.



I'm trying to get through my slogging days by going even slower than I usually do. It feels just the tiniest bit like torture, but hopefully my body will thank me for not pushing it before it was ready to go. And maybe, just maybe, tomorrow will involve just a little bit less slog, and a little bit more fun.



How do you slog?

3 comments:

  1. I agree, those kinds of days are the worst. I usually try to just chill out in front of the tv with some show I enjoy and relax. These days it's gotten harder, as more of my days are good days the bad days just feel that much more unproductive. I need to get over that and give myself permission to just relax and do nothing.

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    Replies
    1. Is there anything harder than "getting over it" (regardless of what "it" is)? Such a simple phrase for a massive emotional hurdle! I am between tv shows myself, and that only adds to my fussiness. I don't want to watch anything new -- I want to watch what I was watching before! I guess I need to, uh, get over that... ;)

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  2. I definitely understand what you meant by "slogging" - in fact, I REALLY like that term! It really does a good job of putting some kind of explanation for what we are feeling on those awful days. I also like how you structure your time. I'm definitely going to try doing the same.

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