Cooking Days: A post about prioritizing life and a recipe that celebrates my point.

I took a few days off from blogging because it was getting too difficult to make the trip to various cafes or libraries while we were waiting for our internet service to be installed. Internet was installed... and then days turned into weeks over the course of a particularly brutal flare-up. Oops.

Ever since moving I've been focusing on so many different things. I had this feeling that once I was moved into my own place, I would suddenly be able to take over the world. Believe me, I certainly tried. I'm starting to come back down to earth and hang out with the mere mortals again. This means re-installing the things that are important to me, starting with the very key things and slowly working outward.

I think everyone, regardless of whether or not they are chronically ill, benefits from prioritizing the things in their lives. If you're chronically ill then you may have fewer things to prioritize, but their placement and duration can be of critical importance. I've had to re-establish my habits and admit which things are too hard for me, and which things I can't live without. I've read about this in numerous books and logically it makes perfect sense to me. Putting it into practice has been a whole different story. I've learned something valuable: people do not take the time to prioritize their life, to sift through their abilities and their wants and their needs because it is really, really painful.

In fact, while I'm on the subject, I have a confession to make: I am a completely stubborn, inflexible pain in the ass. There it is. I do not like change, and I especially do not like having to admit that maybe I shouldn't do something. Did you read that hedging? Did you see it? My fingers won't even type out that I can't admit that I can't do something. There. It's out. And right now, some of the things I "maybe shouldn't do" are things that seem natural and normal and absolutely one hundred percent necessary that I do and do perfectly. Ooh. I left out the "obsessive perfectionist" in my self-description, didn't I?

Cooking has been very important to me these past few years. I've slowly graduated from cooking a good meal one out of five tries to making a bad meal only once a month. It gives me confidence and supplies me with all the supercool good nutrients that my body likes. So in an effort to re-prioritize my life, cooking has taken main stage. We are trying to plan our days so that I am able to cook every meal most days of the week. It makes me feel accomplished, it helps our budget, and we feel tons better when we know where our food is coming from. Plus, nothing makes me feel more like a god  put-together human being than when I realize that I can adapt a recipe to include an ingredient that might actually help with a specific symptom (hello, mushrooms and your friendly niacin) of the day.

In celebration of all that, I want to share a recipe that I made for lunch today! Cooking in the middle of the day, rather than at night made me feel much stronger and happier, and I had the brain power to adapt a recipe at the last minute upon realizing that I didn't have half the ingredients called for. Plus, much better light!

Penne with Turkey Sugo

heavily adapted from Mario Batali's Molto Batali

Created by: Ani

Serves: 2

Time estimate: 30-40 minutes

Ingredients:

1 Tbsp olive oil (you might need more if you don't have a non-stick pan)

8 oz ground turkey (preferably dark meat)

2 cups greens such as arugula

1/2 yellow onion

1 clove garlic

1/2 cup Pomi strained tomatoes

1 Tbsp tomato paste

1 1/2 cup chicken stock

salt n pepper

8 oz penne

1/4 cup pecorino romano

Preparation:

1. Chop the arugula roughly

2. Peel and finely dice the onion

3. Peel and mince the garlic

Cooking Instructions:

Sauce

1. Heat the olive oil in a pan over medium-low heat. Add the onions and a sprinkle of salt. Saute for about 5 minutes, or until just beginning to turn soft.

2. Add the garlic and turn the heat down a notch. Cook, stirring occasionally for another 5 minutes.

3. Turn the heat up to medium-high and add the tomato paste. Toss the garlic and onions around to coat.

4. Add the Pomi and the chicken stock. Stir well. Allow to come to a boil and leave cooking for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally, until reduced nearly by half. Turn the heat down to low, and let the sauce continue to simmer while you cook the pasta and the turkey.

Pasta

1. Bring a big pot of water to a boil. Once it begins to boil, add a big handful of salt. Add the pasta and cook until al dente. 

Turkey

1. Heat a non-stick pan over medium heat. Once hot, add the ground turkey and cook for 5 minutes, until mostly cooked through. 

2. Turn the heat up to medium-high and cook for another 5 minutes until the turkey is nicely browned, perhaps beginning to char in a few places. This will help it hold up to the sauce and not just get sogged down.

3. Add the arugula and the tomato sauce and stir until all the greens melt into it. Turn off the heat.

All together now

1. Strain the pasta and add it to the pan/pot with the sauce and turkey mixture. Mix well with a wooden spoon. Add the pecorino, stir, and serve with a nice Chianti or a rough red table wine like Vieux Papes.

**happy prioritizing!

Cooking Days: For the love of kitchens

Why "cooking days"?  Everyone, especially when you're chronically ill, needs something to bring them confidence. Cooking was the first thing that I found out I could be good at. 

Finding an apartment in Cincinnati with a large kitchen is virtually impossible. I fought hard to get this particular apartment because it had, by Cincinnati standards, a huge kitchen. It even has two whole feet of counter space, plus a dining area! By my standards, this kitchen is laughably small. And I do believe that I have never loved anything more than I love this tiny, awkward little kitchen.

We didn't take much with us on this move, and most of what we did bring was my kitchen stuff. Being able to cook immediately upon arriving was very important to me -- it's something that I can do well, and something that I can do to help us stay healthy and save money.

Following that line of thought, when we moved in, we decided to deck out the kitchen first. It took us more than a month to buy a couch, but by our third day here, we had a dining table and chairs, a hook to hang my aprons on, and a well-stocked pantry and freezer. The kitchen still needs a little bit of work -- we just added the shelving unit yesterday, and I plan on getting an island some time in the future. This room is still the only room that resembles a home. The living room looks like someone ransacked an IKEA (we did) and doesn't know what to do with it (we don't) and the bedroom has a mattress and upside down cardboard box that we put our fan on. Furnishing a kitchen, though, is so much easier.The important things are already there. You just have to figure out how to make it work best for you.

It has meant so much to me to have this kitchen. Even when our living room was just two chairs and some coasters on the windowsill for water glasses, it felt like home because there was a bright, friendly kitchen. I haven't cooked too many masterpieces, nor have I tried for anything too out-of-the-ordinary...but much of that is due to the heat, and my mistrust of electric ovens. But I love having one space that feels like it is completely mine, a kindred spirit of a place. I feel happy every single time I walk in it.

I'm certainly not a master chef, and I frequently make meals that are less than appetizing, and I absolutely get tired of cooking every single day...but honestly? I love it. This is the first area of my life where I have ever felt confidence - had the knowledge that I can learn and adapt, and provide for me and mine. And this kitchen? It's the first place that I've ever felt like I belonged.

With a chronic illness, we often feel useless. I  frequently have to be reminded (thanks, sweetie, you're a champion!) that I do provide something, even if it just a whole lot of pasta. In order to cook every day, I do have to scale down my efforts -- learning simple dishes with good, but few ingredients and few steps, in order to be able to manage it. We're not useless, we just have to re-evaluate what it means to be useful. Having a safe, comforting environment amplifies my self-esteem which actually amplifies my ability to be of use.

What do you provide? What gives you confidence?

Cooking Days: Garlic scapes + pizza

These funky looking guys are called garlic scapes, and I love them. It's an unnatural sort of love, for someone who finds the vegetable food group vaguely confusing. Nontheless, it is love. 

When I first encountered them a few years ago, they were listed as Garlic Whistles, and that's still how I think of them, even though I can't find anything else that refers to them that way. I didn't know what they were or how to cook, so I don't honestly know why I got them. I don't remember what I made with them, but I remember a deep sense of devotion to them. I haven't seen them since. Turns out it's because garlic scapes are only around for the last two weeks of June. They are one of those things that you just can't get out of season and that you just can't quite substitute for.

These little guys are the shoots of the garlic bulb, just before it gets all hard and funky. They taste like garlicky asparagus. Since I had planned on making pizza that night, I decided to put them on there. I also found a recipe, completely on accident, for garlic scape pesto, and I'm quite please with that since I was looking for basil at the farmer's market and freaked out and bought these instead. I get to feel like I did that on purpose.

To put them on my pizza, I chopped them up on the diagonal, and sauteed them in a wee bit of olive oil, salt and pepper. 

Despite being told that these should be cooked just like asparagus, they were still pretty tough after about 5 minutes, so I added a cube of chicken stock (I make, reduce, and freeze in ice cube trays) and covered it loosely to let them steam. I didn't want them perfectly cooked, so that the final cooking could happen under the cheese in the pizza.

I had some leftover chicken bits, and those and some mozarella and local farmer's cheese that was laying around (oh, and pizza dough from Whole Foods) and pizza happened!

I've had some struggles in my kitchen these past few weeks, so it was nice to make something that came from things around the house, not from super calculated we-don't-have-milk-or-a-potato-peeler-just-moved  panic. I felt like something settled inside me as I pulled things together and created something. It was nice.The pizza wasn't perfect (mainly thanks to the glass effect of low-fat mozzarella...but I couldn't find the regular stuff anywhere), but it was totally mine. Now I can't wait to make me some garlic scape pesto...

Cooking Days: Conquering Mushrooms and Roast Chicken

 

Yum!

I've been flaring up a lot, so food has been very laidback these past few weeks. From the top right corner:

1. We usually try to eat with just each other - no TV, and definitely not on the couch. But rules are made to be broken and the best way to break them when you are feeling crappy and cranky is with (homemade!) pizza, spinach salad, red wine and MST3K

2. I love roasting chickens. They do not always love to be roasted. But this little beast turned out beautifully. The trick? Having things get in the way (sharing an oven is murder!) of being able to cook the chicken for dinner, thus enabling one to roast the chicken in the middle of the day just to get the meat off it for the meals planned for its leftovers. Since no one will be eating the chicken immediately, the chicken will come out 100% perfect. Bonus: You get to eat all the skin. So that it doesn't get soggy in the fridge, of course ;)

3. I always thought I hated mushrooms. It turns out that I did not know anything about them. The mushrooms I'm used to are those little, dry, shrively things on top of pizza. These mushrooms above are just crimini mushrooms, but they are divine! I have learned to slowly caramelize them along with my onions. Needless to say everything we have eaten in the past two weeks has had a mushroom and onion component.

4. I've been making pizzas in my cast-iron skillet! I got the idea here, but have been too exhausted to make my own dough lately, so I've just been using storebought stuff. They've been turning out marvelously and are a lovely vessel for leftover things. Cheese isn't my friendliest of foods, but since I haven't been eating any other dairy, the pizza seems to be hitting just fine. I have also been using a blend of mozarella and Trader Joe's Goat Milk Cheddar, and that's been remarkably delicious. I greatly dislike tomato sauces, so my pizza has just a light garlic infused oil spread on it, then some leftover roast chicken and some caramelized mushrooms and onions. I think I put artichokes on there too! Hooray!

Cooking: Finding the perfect sauce

Feeling saucy

I've been working on sauces for awhile. I was hoping to perfect a bechamel sauce, going a little bit Julia Child in my attempts to find the right flour, the right amounts of everything. And then I made this sauce. And it's everything I could ever want in a bechamel sauce. Except it's not really a bechamel sauce. Or a veloute even. It's a bechoute? I used half milk and half chicken stock that I'd made myself the other day. And it's perfectly creamy without being too heavy. There is no heavy taste, it's lighter, more developed. Since it's a baby sauce, I've only used it in casseroles. But I look forward to using it on pasta, to using it as a base for soup, and whatever else I can think of.